Another carpet, another river of awfully nice frocks. (Little yawn.) Voxfrock is chuffed to start a spanking new year with a red carpet wrap; who wouldn’t be? But really, how many va-voom column/fishtailed boom-shakka goddess gowns can the average frocky person stomach? The Voxfrockers are spoiled brats; it is true. We demand far more imagination and creativity (more! more!) than the average gown-designing-guru-type-person apparently has to give. But, is it not time (we ask in that bratty, whiney way we do), red carpet traffic switched up to a fresher, more surprising, more Mo-Dern aesthetic? The red carpet default gown has been goddess too-too long. Yes! Jaded R Us red carpet people! Even the list of goddess-variations worth mentioning in any critique is horribly shrunken after a decade of flogging, ie: sparkly/not sparkly, strapless/not strapless, fishtailed/not fishtailed, bits missing/no bits missing. Etcetera. (That said, the goddess is still marvelously applicable in a few rare sartorial orbits: ie: Heidi Klum today in red – Hell- O!
Heidi Klum
or, Kate Hudson in white – Whoa!)
Kate Hudson
As is our wont, this Voxfrocker summary of the Golden Globes’ axminster traffic includes only those gowns which, in our humbles, deserve notoriety for their genuine loveliness, cleverness, suitability-to-the-wearer-and-occasioness and not-goddessness. As our dear Voxfrockers on the other side of the masthead know, we don’t do negative critique, we veer clear of bitchy barbs (despite that on many occasions, we are sorely tempted) and, most vital of all, we don’t indulge in the hysteria whipped up around certain persons of a celebrity persuasion. (Hence, Mr. and Mrs. Clooney do not appear here though the latter’s frock was, yes, very nice. Not remarkable, but very nice.) This is a civilised office, and here below is our civilised distillation – our pix list – of the only GG frocks worth mentioning. Bon appetit.
Amanda Peet in J.Mendel: the sunray pleated chiffon, the slumped volume, the pale smoked violet, the not-another-goddessness!
Emma Stone in Lanvin. Not that we advocate a trouser default for red carpets, the the occasional uber-sleek ensemble does strum a frocky person’s heart strings….
Taylor Schilling in Ralph Lauren. Thank you for the lavish, glamourousness of your volume, Ms. Schilling.
Felicity Jones in Dior. No front, side or back cleavage, no va-voom hip-gripping schlooped-in column of goddessness here; just glamour with a rustle and a flourish, in one of the most dramatic colours from 2015’s tres moderne plum pudding palette.
Nice try, Jemima Kirke in vestal virginal cape-like extravaganza by Assouline.
Julianna Margulies in Sergeenko. There is much to be said for this charming hemline, due for explosive popularity in 2015, but not here…
Alan Cumming in Calvin Klein. Thank you, Mr. Cumming. It is so ridiculously simple for a chappie to dress for the carpet, the Voxfrockers can only congratulate any man who bothers to make it more difficult than it needs to be.
Compiled by Janice Breen Burns, jbb@voxfrock.com.au with Terry Carruthers, info@voxfrock.com.au
